Beyond the Paperwork: Making Advance Directives Personal

We often think of advance directives as forms to fill out and file away. Boxes to check. Papers to sign. And yes - there are documents involved. But at their core, advance directives are something far more powerful: they are declarations of love, reflections of our values, and roadmaps for how we want to be cared for when we can no longer speak for ourselves.

Advance care planning is about more than just end-of-life decisions - it’s about making sure your care reflects your values, no matter what stage of life you’re in. It includes conversations we often avoid, decisions we tend to put off, and documents that can lift a tremendous burden from the people we love. One of the most important steps is choosing a trusted person - your health care surrogate - who can speak for you if you’re ever unable to speak for yourself. Whether you’re just beginning to think about these things or revisiting them after a life change, this kind of planning is one of the most meaningful gifts you can give to yourself and others.

And now, we bring it all together.

Because this isn’t just about paperwork - it’s about people.

The Real Reason We Plan

Advance directives are not just about how we die. They’re about how we want to be cared for. They ask us to consider:

• What makes life meaningful to me?

• What kind of support brings me comfort?

• Who do I trust to advocate for my wishes?

• When does quality of life matter more than quantity?

  
  

These are deeply personal questions - and the answers aren’t always simple. But they’re worth asking, because they allow us to live more aligned with what matters most and to leave fewer questions behind for the people we love.

I’ve worked with people who filled out their advance directive years ago, never looked at it again, and quietly hoped it would be enough. I’ve also sat beside family members who had no idea what their loved one wanted and were left guessing in a time of crisis. I’ve seen both the peace that comes with clarity and the heartache that comes with uncertainty.

Advance care planning isn’t something you do just to protect yourself. You do it for the people who love you. You do it so they won’t have to carry the weight of wondering if they’re making the right decision. You do it so they won’t have to choose in the dark.

Living Document, A Living Conversation

Your advance directive isn’t a one-and-done task. It’s a living document, and the process around it should grow and shift as you do.

Maybe what felt important to you at 40 looks different at 60. Maybe your faith, your family structure, or your feelings about medical intervention have changed. That’s okay. What matters is that your plan still reflects your current values- not an outdated version of yourself.

And it’s not just about the document itself. It’s about the conversations you have around it. Your advance directive is most effective when it’s paired with real dialogue - open, ongoing, and grounded in love.

So Where Do You Begin: Advance Directives in Florida?

Whether you’re just starting or revisiting your existing plans, here are a few gentle ways to move forward:

1. Reflect on what matters most.

Take some time to think about the care you’d want if you were seriously ill or nearing the end of life. Would you want to be at home? What kind of interventions feel right to you - or feel like too much? What comforts would help you feel safe and cared for?

2. Talk to your people.

Have conversations with those closest to you - your partner, adult children, best friend, or faith leader. Share what matters to you. Let them ask questions. It’s okay if it feels awkward at first. These conversations get easier the more we practice.

3. Choose your health care surrogate.

If you haven’t yet, name someone you trust to speak on your behalf if you can’t speak for yourself. Make sure they understand your values, not just your specific wishes. It’s not about choosing someone who will agree with everything you say - it’s about choosing someone who will honor your choices, even when it’s hard.

4. Put it in writing.

Complete or revisit your advance directive. Every state has its own forms, and there are national resources like Five Wishes and CaringInfo.org that can guide you through the process.

5. Share your documents.

Once your directive is complete, make sure your surrogate, your doctor, and a few trusted loved ones have a copy. Upload it to your medical record patient portal if that’s available to you. A beautifully thought-out document won’t help anyone if they don’t know it exists.

6. Review and revise as needed.

Check in on your plan every couple of years, or after a major life change - like a move, a diagnosis, or a shift in your family dynamics. Think of it as a check-up for your values.

Why National Healthcare Decisions Day Matters

National Healthcare Decisions Day (NHCDD), observed every April 16, exists to raise awareness, prompt conversations, and encourage action around advance care planning. It’s a reminder that today is a good day to begin.

Because at the end of the day, advance care planning isn’t about predicting the future. It’s about preparing for it with clarity and compassion. It’s about making sure that our care - should we ever be unable to speak for ourselves - reflects who we are and what matters most.

The most important part of your advance directive is not the signature. It’s not the legal language. It’s you.

Your values. Your voice. Your love for those who may one day have to speak on your behalf.

Let’s honor that.

If you’d like help choosing a surrogate, having the conversation, or finding the right form - I'm here. You don’t have to figure this out alone.